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Planning a wedding is so much fun. Sure, stressful too, but mostly fun, almost more so than the actual day some might say! One of the first things one does when planning a wedding, is decide who will be attending. Maybe your dream wedding includes a string quartet from Europe, an 8 tier cake encrusted with edible gold flakes, a dress heavier than the bed you sleep on, an entourage of bridesmaids which resembles the entire class of 2001 and the president’s car. Maybe you have a little bohemian gypsy in you with new age thinking and you only want a handful of people at your special day, including the Shaman who is overseeing this little hippy-fest with love and respect to all living things, afterwards enjoying a vegetarian organic feast reception in your own garden. Or, if you are sane and human, finding a middle ground between the two is what you see as your dream wedding.

Any which way, the day should resemble you as a couple. Love is, after all, in the details, right? This brings me to whom to invite. If you have the typical parents, who yanks out the good old little phonebook seconds after you have announced your engagement, to invite everyone who has ever come into contact with you since birth, don’t fear. This is the one instance where budget is your friend. Of course your mother is going to have a very legitimate argument of why Aunt Betty from three doors down should also be present at your big day, because, after all, you had once said hello to Aunt Betty when you were five years old. The good news? If you are old enough to get married, you are probably old enough to tell your mom ‘No Aunt Betty’.

When choosing who to invite, start with the people who are in your life everyday. The ones whose birthdays you attend, the ones who call ‘just to say hello’ – this should include close family (and yes, Aunt Martha with the irresolvable case of severe halitosis should be invited and will take offense if you do not invite her to the Kitchen Tea at the very least). The rest – totally optional. Do not be bullied into inviting all kinds of people just to have seat-fillers, no matter how strong mom’s argument is about Betty.

At the end of the day, you should have two things in mind when planning your wedding day. It is YOUR day, don’t let anyone deviate you from this. Secondly and lastly, but most importantly: You want people not to only remember how it all looked. You will be successful in creating the best wedding, when people remember how the day felt.